Monday, October 31, 2005

Sad news

I got an email from my mother saying that Ambujavalli paatti expired today. She is my maternal grandmother's elder sister. She is a very kind and sweet lady. My grandma died several years ago, but I have always thought of Ambujavalli paatti as another grandma - somebody who closely resembles my grandma and has a very similar voice and personality. The most striking thing about her is her voice - how can I describe it? Her distinct Brahmin language is another noted thing. Last year, around the same time, we had gone to visit her in Chennai. I despised the bus journey to her place and kind of cursed myself to have undertook that trip at all, but I felt like a complete idiot for feeling so, after I met her, after a long time. Her presence is like that. She reminded me everything about my grandma in one instant and I was totally humbled and honestly, surrendered to her. My wife and I got her blessings. My wife thinks she is kind of strict, but then who would not feel like obeying her orders! At that time, I somehow longed to spend more time with her. She was already old and frail, but was hanging in there.
I am very sorry to hear the news, it is a big loss for our family. One may wonder what such women have accomplished - in my opinion, their divine presence can't be paralleled. It is something that you just have to 'earn' and not something you just acquire if you satisfy a few chores in life. She has earned the respect and adulation of all my family members. To all my mother's siblings, she represents the one next to their mother. They go to her for any grand advice or to seek blessings. As I mentioned before, I can't forget her voice and whatever that signifies. My paatti used to refer to her as "akka" (sister) and I thought that was very sweet. You know my paatti was a very strong lady - she brought up so many kids, mostly daughters and got them married in due time - all without the help of anybody. Her husband - my grandfather, apparently passed away when my grandma was still pregnant with her last child, my aunt. In today's terms, it is a sheer miracle and a wonder that she has lived such a great life. She had lot of ailments towards her end and was constantly sick. But you think about it - to be a widow and to raise and deal with so many children is not something today's woman can do. How many sacrifices and sleepless nights? After my paatti left, "paatti veedu" carried no more meaning. It was just a house and it ceased to be a home. I was brought up in that house. To me, it means a lot. It was sad to see that house losing its life. Paatti would have been very proud to see me come to the U.S and study further. My brother and I have always been her favorite grand children 'cause we were known to be good kids, not mischievous but obedient.
I also remember the death of "thatha mama", Ambujavalli paatti's husband. He lived a long life. Used to be very friendly to me when I was a kid. This whole thing is making me sad. I guess the first flavor of death for a person is the death of his/her grandparents, naturally.
Paatti will be remembered. May her soul rest in peace, in heaven. We will all have her blessings though she isn't around.

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