My mind knows. It knows that I should stop doing a lot of things I do now. I haven't been able to live the moment for quite some time now. There are all these thoughts. I somehow need to create value with all my talents. I just don't know how. I have been thinking very hard about this questions for a very long time now and I have no answer at all. What my mind says is that I am losing my present with this anxiety, but I am unable to take charge now. My mind says that start on something and the fog will clear from there, but I am somehow not able to proceed with full speed now. I need energy. I have to take charge. How can one create value from interest in music, interest in photography, films and a deep knowledge and appreciation for science? Particularly, what will I do with the professional experience that I have gathered? What do people do in general? Do they just go with the flow, complaining all the time? Or do they just go with the flow happily, hoping for the good stuff to happen whenever it is destined to happen? What do the rest of the men do? Seriously.
Education. It is something I truely value. Be it in any field. It is a process in which you learn quite a bit. The life after education is when you seldom use all of your knowledge. That's the sad part. May be I should have become a professor, but let me not go in that direction. I have this constant urge to learn something. Anytime not spent learning is considered a waste. Anytime that is not spent pursuing your passion is also a big waste. I am tempted to think that this phase will pass. I want to be optimistic. But the clock doesn't wait for anyone. It keeps ticking.
I have a lot of ideas. Tons of them. My nature, call it stupid, tells me that I want to execute all my ideas when my mind knows that one of them itself can take a lifetime to accomplish. Who planted all these ideas in me? Is it so that I'll definitely do something about it? Aren't there any clear people in the world? What do they all do and how did they arrive there? I do see a lot of content people, who don't seem to give a damn about their future. I envy them in one sense. I feel like I have come too far from being like that. My thinking and contemplating mind never stops. It just never stops.
I need to start exercising vigorously again. I have been rather dull. All work and no play makes me a dull boy. I realized that I was quite happy and energetic when I had a strict gym schedule - 3 times a week. It was quite amazing. Amazing to the extent that it was not meant to last. I had this thing going on for four years in a row. I somehow had the motivation, regardless of where I lived, to keep going to the gym and do my one hour thing there. How the hell did that end? I can't possibly explain 'cause I don't know.
I am interested in entrepreneurship. I can't take finance or investment banking. Consulting - may be, but I am getting old for that. I can't put in so many hours per week and see my time being spent away from music, photography. I need those two in my life. Can I take music courses in the undergrad/grad level somewhere? I can already tell you that my mind would want to take photography courses as well. How about film school? Do I stand a chance at all? What am I missing here? Is this the so called mid-life crisis. I really hope not, because I can see things getting far worse.
I thought I would vent the steam out a little. I took a career test from www.livecareer.com. You should take it too. It takes about 20 minutes to answer the 100 questions or so they have on the site, for which there are no right or wrong answers. I know about these tests. You need to be completely honest in order to get a fair evaluation of your interests and your skills, talent, etc. Apparently, I am the most interested in Arts, Science and Writing. The former two I can understand, but I don't know where writing came from. It's a means of being creative...so I guess I can include that. I am also not very assertive or persuasive apparently. I remember earlier I had flunked an entrepreneur test that I found in Guy Kawasaki's website. Don't know where I am headed, to be brutally honest.
The only thing right now that can make me totally happy is a reasonably clear short term future, say 2 years. Education is an option or working hard and learning new things is another. In either of these, I don't see music standing much of a chance. Photography is solely restricted to when I am travelling, but I want to do a lot more. God bless.
Laterz.
Education. It is something I truely value. Be it in any field. It is a process in which you learn quite a bit. The life after education is when you seldom use all of your knowledge. That's the sad part. May be I should have become a professor, but let me not go in that direction. I have this constant urge to learn something. Anytime not spent learning is considered a waste. Anytime that is not spent pursuing your passion is also a big waste. I am tempted to think that this phase will pass. I want to be optimistic. But the clock doesn't wait for anyone. It keeps ticking.
I have a lot of ideas. Tons of them. My nature, call it stupid, tells me that I want to execute all my ideas when my mind knows that one of them itself can take a lifetime to accomplish. Who planted all these ideas in me? Is it so that I'll definitely do something about it? Aren't there any clear people in the world? What do they all do and how did they arrive there? I do see a lot of content people, who don't seem to give a damn about their future. I envy them in one sense. I feel like I have come too far from being like that. My thinking and contemplating mind never stops. It just never stops.
I need to start exercising vigorously again. I have been rather dull. All work and no play makes me a dull boy. I realized that I was quite happy and energetic when I had a strict gym schedule - 3 times a week. It was quite amazing. Amazing to the extent that it was not meant to last. I had this thing going on for four years in a row. I somehow had the motivation, regardless of where I lived, to keep going to the gym and do my one hour thing there. How the hell did that end? I can't possibly explain 'cause I don't know.
I am interested in entrepreneurship. I can't take finance or investment banking. Consulting - may be, but I am getting old for that. I can't put in so many hours per week and see my time being spent away from music, photography. I need those two in my life. Can I take music courses in the undergrad/grad level somewhere? I can already tell you that my mind would want to take photography courses as well. How about film school? Do I stand a chance at all? What am I missing here? Is this the so called mid-life crisis. I really hope not, because I can see things getting far worse.
I thought I would vent the steam out a little. I took a career test from www.livecareer.com. You should take it too. It takes about 20 minutes to answer the 100 questions or so they have on the site, for which there are no right or wrong answers. I know about these tests. You need to be completely honest in order to get a fair evaluation of your interests and your skills, talent, etc. Apparently, I am the most interested in Arts, Science and Writing. The former two I can understand, but I don't know where writing came from. It's a means of being creative...so I guess I can include that. I am also not very assertive or persuasive apparently. I remember earlier I had flunked an entrepreneur test that I found in Guy Kawasaki's website. Don't know where I am headed, to be brutally honest.
The only thing right now that can make me totally happy is a reasonably clear short term future, say 2 years. Education is an option or working hard and learning new things is another. In either of these, I don't see music standing much of a chance. Photography is solely restricted to when I am travelling, but I want to do a lot more. God bless.
Laterz.
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